I was chatting with a friend this morning, and we drifted into talking about our very early, formative sexual education and experiences (like ya do). And as the conversation unfolded, I had a bit of a revelation.
I’m old enough that my early sexual education didn’t come from the internet. (Shocking, right?!) Thankfully my dad had a pretty good stash of Playboys and Penthouses and I was crafty enough to hide my frequent perusal of them. Or my parents were generous enough to feign ignorance. Either way, win!
For whatever reason, I gravitated mostly to the text-based smut. Oh sure, I spent plenty of time checking out the various pictorials and centerfold spreads, but given a choice, I would focus on the “letters” in Penthouse Forum every time.
Now, I don’t have any illusions that those letters were any more real, any less faked, than the heavily airbrushed centerfolds. Even as a teen, I was pretty sure the allegedly user-submitted letters were complete fabrications, far divorced from reality.
But in hindsight, I consider myself very fortunate that my early sexuality was focused on the written word. It’s odd that I never thought of it this way before, but there were multiple benefits.
Although I enjoyed the occasional set of naked photos, I never grew obsessed over the much-too-perfect, airbrushed girls with nary a sag or wrinkle. When I finally met a girl kindly enough to shed her knickers for me, I don’t recall mentally comparing her to Miss January. I never had the stage of obsessing over bigger and bigger breasts, or impossibly long legs.
And thanks to text-based porn, it seems like I came to the table with all sorts of very basic, but often missed, information. For instance, I knew (very well) that women had orgasms. I also knew achieving them could be harder than it is for guys. I had a hearty appreciate for the value of lots and lots of foreplay. And as opposed to the stereotype of guys who have a strong aversion to cunnilingus, I was oh so eager to give more head to a girl than she could stand. And frankly, most of those preferences still stick with me today. I continue to be far more interested in my partners’ pleasures than in my own.
And, you know… no complaints so far. 🙂