I was chatting with a friend this morning, and we drifted into talking about our very early, formative sexual education and experiences (like ya do). And as the conversation unfolded, I had a bit of a revelation.
I’m old enough that my early sexual education didn’t come from the internet. (Shocking, right?!) Thankfully my dad had a pretty good stash of Playboys and Penthouses and I was crafty enough to hide my frequent perusal of them. Or my parents were generous enough to feign ignorance. Either way, win!
For whatever reason, I gravitated mostly to the text-based smut. Oh sure, I spent plenty of time checking out the various pictorials and centerfold spreads, but given a choice, I would focus on the “letters” in Penthouse Forum every time.
Now, I don’t have any illusions that those letters were any more real, any less faked, than the heavily airbrushed centerfolds. Even as a teen, I was pretty sure the allegedly user-submitted letters were complete fabrications, far divorced from reality.
But in hindsight, I consider myself very fortunate that my early sexuality was focused on the written word. It’s odd that I never thought of it this way before, but there were multiple benefits.
Although I enjoyed the occasional set of naked photos, I never grew obsessed over the much-too-perfect, airbrushed girls with nary a sag or wrinkle. When I finally met a girl kindly enough to shed her knickers for me, I don’t recall mentally comparing her to Miss January. I never had the stage of obsessing over bigger and bigger breasts, or impossibly long legs.
And thanks to text-based porn, it seems like I came to the table with all sorts of very basic, but often missed, information. For instance, I knew (very well) that women had orgasms. I also knew achieving them could be harder than it is for guys. I had a hearty appreciate for the value of lots and lots of foreplay. And as opposed to the stereotype of guys who have a strong aversion to cunnilingus, I was oh so eager to give more head to a girl than she could stand. And frankly, most of those preferences still stick with me today. I continue to be far more interested in my partners’ pleasures than in my own.
And, you know… no complaints so far. 🙂
Lucky/wise you…
When I was 12, I took full advantage of my ‘rents having The Joy of Sex as a coffee-table book. Eye-opening and informative. In high schol, I took to reading the books on the bookshelf in their bedroom, getting great exposure to much classic porn (such as Lady Chatterley’s Lover, M.deSade’s Justine, Sacher-Masoch’s Venus in Furs, as well as anthologies of great stuff) and really good erotic art (Indian and Japanese, primarily).
Throw some Anais Nin and Henry Miller in there, and it sounds a lot like my early “literary smut” education too. No one respects a good liberal arts education these days. 🙂