Emotional Rescue

Is there a more recursive exercise than thinking about the nature of consciousness?

My emotions have been swinging about pretty dramatically lately, which has started me thinking about emotions in general. All of this cogitation has resulted in a new mental model (the model is mental, and the thing being modeled is mental – and the modeler…) about consciousness that I’m trying on for size.

It’s easy to see emotions as cause and effect. Some external event happens. In response to the event, you experience an emotional reaction. As a result of that emotional reaction, your brain directs the release of a cocktail of hormones. Those hormones produce a physical reaction, like a racing heart beat, dilated pupils. At least, that’s how I used to think things work. And in some cases, that’s pretty valid; for instance, that seems to be the flow of events in a traditional fight-or-flight event/adrenal response.

But for less dramatic, obvious events, I’m trying out a new model.

New theory: Human consciousness is largely an exercise of pattern recognition, and a subsequent rationalization of what was observed.

As an example, think about a common experience with dreams that we’ve all had. You’re dreaming about being chased through your office by some creature. As you’re running through the hallways, the fire alarm starts blaring. You’re running and panting and the alarm is getting louder, and you’re more frantic, and the alarm is ringing and… you wake up. And the fire alarm noise is your alarm clock waking you up. What just happened wasn’t coincidence. It wasn’t dumb luck that your dream included an alarm just before your alarm clock went off. Of course not. What happened was that the alarm clock went off, and your brain did its little pattern matching routine, trying to find some logical explanation for the sound that fit the stream of consciousness you were in at the moment. Hence, the alarm in your dream, which lasted for several seconds before you woke up and came fully awake.

So let me bring this back to emotions. And, I’m going to introduce a further twist. What if the “external event” that kicks everything off isn’t all that external?

What if the initial action is the production of hormones? Maybe it was something you ate, maybe it’s a cyclical event, who knows why. But some bit of equilibrium gets upset and your body and brain get an unexpected rinse of hormones. The brain produces an emotional response to the hormones. “Hmm, this particular cocktail is frustration and annoyance.” And then your brain, just as it did in the dream example, looks for some rationalization that conveniently fits your current stream of consciousness. “Frustration and annoyance. Hmm, what could I find to be frustrated and annoyed about? Hey, the light is on in the hallway… and in the kitchen. Dammit, why can’t she learn to turn the lights out when she leaves the room? We’ve talked about this before, why can’t she learn to do such a simple thing? Grrr…”

And because the frustration is being caused by the hormones (and not the other way around, as formerly assumed), it explains why you can address the thing that is making you upset, and then minutes later get worked up all over again by a completely different issue. The issue itself isn’t the prime cause; it is just the rationalization constructed by the brain. Until you’ve flushed the hormones, your consciousness will simply find something else to explain this emotional turmoil.

Pretty messed up, huh? And it’s really hard to see, in the heat of the moment. It’s the nature of an emotional response; when you’re in the midst of it, it just seems so bloody important! It’s all you can think about, you’re worked up and angry/sad/frustrated/scared/anxious/whatever and it’s all the fault of [fill in the blank], and if you could just fix that problem it would all go away! Why can’t people understand? And then some loved one helpfully suggests, “How long has it been since you’ve been to the gym? Maybe you need to go blow off some steam.” and you get outraged. “What? Don’t you trivialize this! Going to the gym isn’t going to make her smarter about turning off the lights! That isn’t going to fix anything! You’re so patronizing, it makes me want to punch someone! When you get all smug and condescending… you just don’t understand me! You never really have. Why I oughta…”

Eventually the hormones bleed off in their own sweet time. Or maybe you end up going to the gym anyway (grumble, gripe, moan) and get that heart rate elevated and flush out the hormones. Or some other gland starts squirting (heh. It sounds dirty when I say it like that.) and your brain drops the previous issue and picks up the new one to start gnawing on.

This model resonates for me. It explains the capricious nature of emotional response; how something can seem so terribly important, so overwhelming at one time, and then later seem like such a tempest in a teacup. And it reduces the function of consciousness down to a very simple pattern. Analyze incoming stimulus, produce an explanation. Analyze incoming stimulus, produce an explanation. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Which is related to my other post, consciousness is a myth. But I’ll save that for a later time.