{"id":1078,"date":"2010-05-03T20:02:00","date_gmt":"2010-05-04T02:02:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.laughingmonkey.org\/?p=1078"},"modified":"2010-05-03T20:02:00","modified_gmt":"2010-05-04T02:02:00","slug":"the-hair-curtain-dragging-in-my-mouth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/laughingmonkey.org\/?p=1078","title":{"rendered":"The hair curtain dragging in my mouth"},"content":{"rendered":"

Since college (the first time), I’ve kept some combination of beard and mustache. I’ve also been fairly diligent about keeping it tidy. The beard is groomed short, almost stubble length, and the mustache neatly trimmed above the line of my upper lip.<\/p>\n

Until recently.<\/p>\n

I’m participating in a staged reading of Two Gentlemen of Lebowski<\/a>. On the very first day of rehearsals, my dear directrix and stage mistress asked (insisted?) that I grow out my mustache for the role. Me, being innocent and gullible said, “Oh sure! Why not?”<\/p>\n

What was I thinking? We’re heading into the second month of working on this, and my ‘stache is driving me mental! I’ve got this bleedin’ hair curtain dragging in my mouth every time I open it to speak, drink, eat, kiss, et al.<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

It’s getting long enough that I have to try to brush it sideways, parted at the filtrum. Yep, my mustache has flybacks. The 70’s me would be so proud. It’s long enough that I can pul and twist the ends of my mustache, like Snidely Whiplash. I’m “this” close to buying mustache wax.<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

My deepest gratitude to those few remaining lovelies who are still willing to kiss me whilst I’m in this state. Good sports, they are.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Since college (the first time), I’ve kept some combination of beard and mustache. I’ve also been fairly diligent about keeping it tidy. The beard is groomed short, almost stubble length,… Read more »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[5],"class_list":["post-1078","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-about-me"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/laughingmonkey.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1078","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/laughingmonkey.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/laughingmonkey.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/laughingmonkey.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/laughingmonkey.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1078"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/laughingmonkey.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1078\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/laughingmonkey.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1078"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/laughingmonkey.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1078"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/laughingmonkey.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1078"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}